i imagine jean saying that in an interview with the press…and jeremy trying to save and prevent a total crisi with the press…
jean is scary…alvarez is not helping she is just laughing in the background AND FILMING THE WHOLE THING
(The video becomes viral on the internet)
OMG! I can’t believe you did it, this looks perfect thank you so much Chio!
CHIIIOOOO JFC YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE GIFT TO THIS FANDOM THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
This is really bad, but I hope you enjoy regardless. I also have another similar fic here that’s better lol
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It isn’t supposed to be like this.
He’s playing on a professional team. He’s in a stable relationship. He’s supposed to have everything he’s ever wanted. And he does. So why does he still have moments where his chest is tight and it feels like he’s having all the air squeezed out of him like he’s a balloon?
He knows, rationally, that it doesn’t work like this, but a small part of him feels like his anxiety was supposed to have an end date. Like once he reached his goals, it would go away. But now he’s standing in the living room as he watches the highlights of his last game- the game where he missed what would’ve been the winning shot.
Stupid, not good enough…
The announcers are speculating on what happened and if the stress of adjusting to a new team is too much for Jeremy. He doesn’t realize how hard he’s breathing until he hears Jean’s no nonsense voice behind him say, “Turn it off.”
His voice is choked as he gasps, “I c-can’t. I can’t, I can’t…”
He feels Jean take his arms and bring him down to the floor. While Jean can’t be touched during his panic attacks, Jeremy needs a grounding force to keep his mind from going a mile a minute. Jean looks at him and says, “Jere, I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that?”
Jeremy nods shakily, but counts with him until he gets his grounding in reality back. He focuses on the sound of Jean’s voice and the feeling of hands in his. He catalogs each ridge of Jean’s fingers and palms, the hands that he knows so well. Jean hates his hands, but Jeremy loves them because they’re so unique to Jean. They’re a sign of how strong he is and what he’s overcome. He loves them because when he’s panicking he has a system that helps him calm down.
He feels for the ridges on Jean’s ring finger from a bone that didn’t set right, then the raised scar on his middle finger, then the callous by his thumb from where he holds his racquet. Once Jeremy feels them all, he opens his eyes to meet Jean’s grey ones and hears, “That’s it. Come back.”
All Jeremy feels after a panic attack is exhausted, so he leans down to lay his head in Jean’s lap and focuses on the feeling of fingers running through his hair and Jean’s low voice telling him inane things just to lull him back.
After he’s calmed down, Jeremy whispers, “I’m sorry.”
Jean shushes him. “Hush, my darling. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Jeremy hums. Jean only calls him darling in especially soft moments. Jean continues, “There was nothing you could have done about that goal. And even if there was, just focus on getting better.”
Jeremy mumbles, jokingly, “You should take your own advice.”
He lays there until he feels less dizzy and when he comes to, Jean is there, as Jeremy wants him to always be.
there was an unspoken agreement between kevin day and jean moreau that they should never mention Halloween ever since the incident that happened when they were sixteen
when october came around, jean felt a deep sense of hollow in his chest.
It was his first year away from the ravens, and he was not prepared to be treated with kindness
riko never really allowed jean to forget what happened when he and kevin snuck off campus to celebrate Halloween when they were sixteen
after kevin left, jean was constantly reminded that he was not allowed to leave his side, and if he did, riko would find him and put him through even more pain
so now when jean was with the Trojans, he expected pain, anger and lashing out.
but as he sat in the lounge of the trojans’ stadium, listening to the trojans’ excited plans of Halloween, he finds himself dreading it even more than when he was back at the nest
most people thought that the trojans’ captain was the least intuitive or observant person around because he was thought to be a Walking Meme, but he was captain of the second best class I exy team for a reason
when he noticed jean growing more distant than usual from the team, he knew something was up
he contemplated between texting kevin and speaking to jean himself, but jean never really seemed to want to talk to Jeremy, so he texts kevin instead
what Jeremy learns from kevin is that when they were sixteen, they had both gone out together to a Halloween party, and riko wasn’t amused by their stunt.
what was a fun holiday was now ruined by riko for jean and kevin, but kevin had told Jeremy that he was doing better now because of the foxes, but jean probably had it worst, especially after kevin had left the nest.
jeremy decided that it was up to him and the Trojans to help jean associate Halloween with fake, spooky ghosts and candy instead of painful memories of the nest.
he doesn’t tell the Trojans any details except helping jean get accustomed back to the real Halloween, and they are all ready to help.
jean gets suspicious about their actions, and he does get riled up by the decors.
He sees the torn cotton hanging along their lockers, and the Trojans wearing a lot of orange despite them not being the foxes
and the tiny subtle halloween decorations triggers jean’s memories of the nest.
jeremy finds him in one of the seats in the stadium after training had ended, and the court was empty. quietly, he sat down two seats away from jean and stared down at the exy court that was now covered in cob-webs.
“when i was sixteen, kevin and i snuck out for a halloween party. im sure kevin would have told you why i hate halloween.”
jeremy is startled at this confession, but he doesn’t speak up. he doesn’t want to break jean’s train of thought.
jean leans back and closes his eyes. “we got quite drunk, and riko was not amused. as punishment, riko put us through pain and suffering, pain that i can still painfully remember like it was embedded in in my bones”
jeremy winced. he had never thought of riko moriyama like that. he might have thought riko would put them through rigid exercises so that the ravens maintained their first place, but he never thought he’d put them through pain.
“but what the trojans are doing…” jeremy murmurs after jean goes quiet, and jeremy has to turn to see that jean was still sitting there. “is it okay?”
jean opens his eyes, and jeremy stares into those pale grey eyes, and he feels his heart start to race. beyond that void in jean’s eyes, jeremy thought he saw pain, loneliness and sadness.
jean turns away and shrugs. “i guess so. i’m pretty sure its trojans’ tradition for halloween.”
jeremy doesn’t say anything that gives the trojans away.
He’s confused at first, because he thought that there was always a problem with the Trojans, but he didn’t expect them to be this bad.
there are tiny pumpkin stickers that run along the hallways from the shower to the locker rooms, and jean actually wants to question the mentality of the trojans
were they actually college students or still middle school kids?
there’s this urge to tear down those halloween decors, do they actually want to bring the halloween spirit into the court??
he doesn’t realize that they’re doing it for him
he might not hate halloween, but he hates how the stupid day would remind him of that incident so many years ago
so when the whole thing overwhelms him and triggers the bad memories, jean is alone in the dorms, with the lights not turned on and he’s sitting on the corner of his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest
jeremy knew something was bothering him. he had returned to the dorms with pumpkin spiced lattes, and he dropped his keys by the kitchen counter, set the drinks next to it and walked into the room.
he doesn’t turn on the lights, but he knows jean is there. he doesn’t say anything but shuts the door behind him and sits down next to jean on the floor
jean was amazed at how jeremy’s presence was always an anchor that kept him steady when he felt like he was going to stop breathing.
jeremy didn’t expect jean to speak because he knew jean was always like that when he was having his break downs so he thought his presence would reassure jean in a way that “i am here, and nothing will hurt you when i am here”
“it still reminds me of the nest, halloween. i mean.”
jeremy was surprised, but he doesn’t speak. he’s nervous, but he doesn’t want to say anything that would break whatever had surged jean to speak
“when october comes around, i close my eyes and i see the court, and i see riko standing over me with those machines that god knows where they came from. i still remember the pain and the tears, and me begging riko to stop.”
“of course, the begging only spurred riko on even more. so i learnt to shut up. kevin, though.” jean laughs emptily and shakes his head.
“halloween was supposed to be a memory for me of my family because my sister loves halloween.”
jeremy winced internally. jean had never talked about his family, but the thought that riko had ruined what was one of the memories jean had of his family made him mad
“are the trojans always like this every year?” his voice was light and curious.
jeremy nods and turns to glance at jean. “though,” he clear his throat when he finds it hard to speak, but he still spoke at a quieter voice. “we don’t do this far to decorate our court.”
the corners of jean’s mouth curved up a bit. “i thought so.”
jeremy rests the back of his head on jean’s bed and meets his gaze. “is this okay?”
jean looks at him with a confused look, and jeremy answers, “halloween.”
“oh,” is all jean can say before he can answer, “well, it’d take some time, but i think so.”
jeremy beams, and jean feels some sort of flutter in his stomach.
that year’s fall banquet encouraged exy players to dress up for halloween, and jean was just glad it wasn’t compulsory.
jeremy went as a Bee, and at first nicky wanted to video kevin’s reaction down. he had even prepared his speech “and now, kevin day would return to his natural habitat, and see his idol jeremy knox– holy fucking shit, jeremy, wHY ARE YOU A BEE?”
jean would watch in amusement as jeremy and nicky argue over which disney movie (beauty & the beast, and bee) was the best while kevin just stares at jeremy dumbstruck
neil would take a photo of that face, and renee would ask, “isn’t jeremy the cutest?”
and kevin would be like “Y-yes?”
and then when they get so heated in their discussion, jean would walk up to jeremy and gently tug onto jeremy’s arm.
jeremy would instantly turn to look at jean, and the annoyance/humor washes off immediately
kevin doesn’t miss that look, and even though he’s a bit jealous that it’s jean who gets to have jeremy’s attention, he’s glad that jean is better enough to celebrate halloween
when they’re settled at their individual tables, jean and kevin would exchange a glance, and even though they’re still not on well terms, they now will always have each other’s back
I was going to wait until Monday and post the whole thing at once, but I got impatient and so I’m going to spread it over three days. This is for @rikomoriyamaofficial for the @aftgexchange. I’m so excited to finally share it with you and I hope you like it! Part’s 2 and 3 will be up tomorrow and Monday. Extra thanks to @amarulasmile for helping when I was stuck and to @beanmoreau and @faintlyglow for their general enthusiasm with their sneak peek.
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Jeremy Knox is a bad idea.
Jean knows this because all Jeremy has to do is smile at him and Jean is prepared to hand him the entire world on a platter. It’s an exaggeration of course- Jean has lines, things he can’t or won’t give. He just knows Jeremy would never cross them, knows that Jeremy is so different from everyone who’s hurt Jean in the past.
Which is why when Jeremy comes to him looking nervous and sheepish one day after practice, he’s wary of whatever is about to come out of Jeremy’s mouth. Similar incidents in the past four years accompanied by that facial expression have included the 4 AM Jet Lag Milkshake Fiasco, The Glitter Glue Greeting Card Debacle, and more kitchen catastrophes than Jean cares to recount. He should be used to Jeremy’s schemes by now, at 25 and after 4 years of living with Jeremy and two years on the same pro team.
He’s still somehow surprised when the first words out of Jeremy’s mouth is, “Will you come with me to my sister’s wedding and act like we’re dating?”
Anonymous asked: So I like to think that Jean and Jeremy have polar opposite body temperatures- Jean's hands and such are always cold, while Jeremy (ofc) radiates warmth. So they balance each out because Jean can cuddle up to Jeremy whenever he's feeling chilly, and Jeremy can enjoy the small shock of Jean's cool skin against his.
ok so first of all: thank fucking god for this and for you, this is Good Content
secondly, please imagine the following:
jeremy and jean cuddling up together in bed at night, getting ready to sleep
jeremy holds his arms out, encouraging jean to cuddle closer and let jeremey hold him
and jean does bc he’s In Love and he feels safe in jeremy’s arms
cue tiny, shocked gasping noise from jeremy as jean presses his freezy-cold hands against jeremy’s bare chest
“you’re so cold! ok, c’mere, i need to warm you up”
jeremy hold jean’s hands in his own, brings them up to his lips and gives them lots of kisses before putting his arms around Jean and holding him close against his chest
jean grumbles and teases jeremy, but honestly?? he loves it. jeremy is so warm, so cozy, so safe. he feels very safe and loved, it’s the best
For the whole jerejean boy next-door AU: please imagine how when Jeremy has Jean over and they go up to Jeremy’s room to kiss study, Jeremy’s younger siblings will keep running into Jeremy’s room to tease him a little and say stuff like “ooooooh Jeremy has Jean over again~~~” Jeremy has to keep chasing them out of the room and gets v embarrassed bc “guys pls i have a cute boy here give me a break.” but Jean thinks it’s kind of cute seeing Jeremy all flustered.
